bada-bing!

Hi All

Miss me?

So you been sitting there, after my last post, excitement building, gripping your chairs with anticipation, eager to find out what adventures Shad had been on. He's been missing for over a week now!
you ask yourself after wiping the tears of joy, and pure anticipation....
"Where has shad been?" "What could have made shad miss updating the SoO ladder table dealie?"

Well, I will tell you upfront, last week I spent nights in, Hobart, Launceston, Melbourne, Sydney and my home City of Canberra. majority of the last 8 days have been spent away from home!
the thing about traveling for work, as glamorous as it sounds is you never stop working. Your normally up at around 5am and you think of work. You have breakfast while either discussing work or thinking of it. You go to work. You come home, thinking of work. You then go to dinner, discuss work/think of work. Then go to bed around 11:30 thinking of work (that's if you don't have to prep/read anything for the next day). So by about 1am, when you finally fall asleep. you've about had enough work.

Try doing that for 5 nights... well, After 5 nights of that, a man has had enough.

Here ends the post of shads adventure for anyone under the age of 18... If your over 18 you can read on.

So home to the family i go(meeting up with them in sydney), spending some time... but the following day(Saturday), I am going to a friends bucks party.

Now this friend, for my bucks party, jumped from 14,000 feet with me... he has never been the same again. So it was my turn to return the favour.

I had around 300 bucks cash in my wallet... planned of having a good time, expecting to bring home around 250 of it as i didnt necessarily want to have a big night on the turps!

I get picked up by another friend and his misses whom is dropping us off...
"Where are we going?" asks Shad
"O'Malleys" Comes the reply. The name brought thoughts of a quiet Irish pub came flowing into my mind... Not the bucks party i was expecting, but thankfully more quiet and more to my liking! "In the cross"

Now you know the sound of the record scraping.... well i sware i heard it! FFS, i thought to myself! CONTROL! its gunna be a booza, get out alive!

LOL, so out we get on darlinghurst road and start walking past the holiday in towards O'Malleys.... its pissing down!
who do we see? A mate of ours!
"heya... where you doing?" we ask, shaking hands.
"off to a shop... get some funny shit!"
My mate and i just looked at each other, and walked into O'malleys.

Drinks were had, going easy. We were asked go "go in on the rounds, $50 bucks! Drink all night"
it didn't last long when, it was 2 Caronas (i hate that stuff, but i didn't get a choice) and a chaser of god knows what!

So the guys who went to the "Shop" came back, and dragged the buck down to the gents toilets.
too pissed to fight back... he emerged from the gents wearing:
A pink "im the bride" hat
A pink mask
A white G-string around his neck
A pink garter belt
A glow in the dark strap on dildo
and a candy g-string (Dildo poking out) which is like those candy bracelets

now i was suprised to see how many people were "amacable" to touching the dildo... and the amount of ladies whom were "interested in some candy"

So, after a few (3) smashed glasses... (one by the bar staff and one by another group) we we asked to leave....

The drunken rabble... (yes, my attempt to have a quiet one was lost) wondered up kings cross!
money for the pickings.... any smart club front man knew it, we were easy pickings.

"bada bing" someone shouted
"bada boom" shad shouted back... before almost drunkenly stepping infront of a car.... "I'm walking here!"

up the stairs we go... (i though it was just a club....)
$10 cover charge... I've paid more in my younger days!
and the THIS is where i found myself!

http://www.badabingnightspot.com.au

Now shad has lead a quiet, sheltered life... (now by no means am i innocent, but i've never actually been to a "strip club")

What followed was what id like to describe as.... extaution

there was say, 20 odd waitresses, 5 or so "show girls" but what shocked me the most was the amount of girls whom where their with boyfriends or by themselves... but they were interested in the fellas
and they were even more interested in the "candy G-string" i can tell you!
and they were not any sort of ugly either! (Plants)

I was pounced on by a waitress, named Fiona from York England... who scammed me all night. Fiona was in Australia to see the world, 2 of her friends worked their and she was their for the money!
she got nearly all of mine!

Now the "strippers" they come out... and your forced to "peak" early! you can purchase $5 buck tickets (this is to make you stop thinking its "money" your giving the girl and think of it more as manopoloy money....) to wave at the girl.
Its a shovanistic sign that the man is in control.... but let me tell you it is a fallacy! (also, you cant sit at the stage without tickets....)
most people will throw manopoloy money on the floor and not think twice (funnily enough, i found 2 tickets on the floor)
so the gorgeous girl dances about, coming over and talking to you, saying I'take it off for 4 tickets.... and the negotiation begins. You are "whoooo"ing and "whoooop"ing thinking that, this girl she is taking her top of... im giving her manoploy money... im a pimp!
Nup... you the one getting scammed.... all she did was take her bikini top off... (which cost me 15 dollars personally, and then i saw how much she scammed from everyone else for the same item of clothing, roughly $80 more)
and when you run outta tickets... the waitresses pounce on you to buy more.... and more drinks (if your luckey) cause if they dont.... a bouncer lifts your arse outta that chair quick smart!
WTF?
After about 15 minutes, she left the podium, only having taken off her top with, Id estimate at $300.
WTF?
Then you can get a "private show" for $80... we paid for the buck, I didn't get into that!

Now, there are the waitresses, normal girls... clothed like any normal girl waitress. (black pants, and top) they come over and upsell your drinks, tape tips and charge you for the service of them "going to the bar" on you behalf.
You cant sit, unless you buy one a drink...
you can stand, and chat to one... only if you got a drink.
otherwise you can "watch" (what dickhead watches other people chat) or watch the dancer from about 50 feet away.
now if your buying a drink... your more interested in the drink (cause if your not, the girl loses you and you'll never see the drink again) and your not watching the "Show"
the waitresses are normally scamming 3-4 fellas at a time.... your asking where is my drink... They don't go to the bar unless they have 2 or three drinks
Now, "luckilly", fiona was the only one i'd buy a drink from... but even i spent more time looking for where she was with my drink then at what i should be looking at! And she was scamming me, working 2 more fellas on her way to the bar!

So, i wont go into the more detail, ask me in mumble if you want to hear more about my scam theories!

but i'll leave you with, this.
Highly recommend you go once in your life.... take a fake $100 note and about 200 in 5 dollar notes... drink a SLOW drinking drink! dont tip, dont give up your money unless your forced to.

AND SCAM BACK!
(I hope you all come off better then I.... with 3 dollars in my wallet at the end of the night!)
Good times!